“Our First Valentines Together”

I go over in my head
Some things that you said
When we were young and happy in love
I feel disdain
When I reflect on the pain
I caused you that time we spoke of
The love that we share
The way that we care
The future of you and of me
Speaking of dreams
And then it did seem
That this future was just meant to be
Though you hoped and you tried
It is my fault you cried
For I put a stop to all of the dreaming
Though you called it first
I thought it was last
I had lost all hope in believing
That this would last
Where we fell so fast
At times I did not want it to end
But I simply quit
Could not handle the shit
No matter how hard I’d pretend
You gave to me
What I wanted to see
But at some point I closed my eyes
And in the black
The foundations did crack
Letting in the hurt and the lies
We were both wrong
Both to blame that it’s gone
But I can only point the finger at me
I should not have resisted
I should have persisted
Instead of turning to run and to flee
Your dreams were misplaced
For it all went to waste
You can probably be happier elsewhere
Though we fought and we cried
Though it’s broken inside
I just want you to know I still care
Search for the smile
A yard or a mile
Please achieve the happiness you seek
For it’s out there somewhere
All the love and the care
To give in is to admit defeat
Time cannot go back
I realise that
What’s been done cannot be undone
I know you’ll go far
If you be what you are
You’re a sunflower, now reach for the sun

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Too Many Too Young

In the last seven years I have acquired a fair few tattoos. The only thing that has really prevented me from getting any more than I have currently, is the lack of disposable income. If the financial gods had blessed me with greater wealth I know that by now I would be approaching full capacity in terms of ink on skin. Given the opportunity I would have had more tattoos, and though this view is shared by many, there are those that feel differently.

Laser treatment aside, the placement of permanent ink on skin means that each time you have a tattoo, you are left with less and less space upon your body. The car park that is your body, is slowly being occupied with vehicles, and once you reach maximum capacity, you cannot add another level. This relationship of permanence and scarcity leads to thinking the question: “Are too many cars being let in too quickly?”, or in tattoo-talk: “Am I getting too many tattoos, too young?”

Continue reading “Too Many Too Young”

An Ode To Those Who Will Never Read It

The nameless numbers, who no longer count,
The rivers of Eden, among times of drought,
The loved and the lost, the Queens for a day,
The weeks of connection, the hours of play,
Mistakes have been made in the past, and by me,
And now that I’m blind I finally see,
That the actions I take and the words that I say,
Impact on many, in a number of ways,
This is less about you and more about me,
My regret at not just leaving things be,
For I am the one to blame for all this,
I am the one that drains life from the kiss,
The pain that I’ve caused, the pain you recall,
Would never have happened, were it not for a fall,
A fall so hard and a fall so fast,
Giving illusions that this one will last,
The bridges are ashes, it’s too late for talk,
I’ve paved the way for the road I must walk,
Alone I must go, and alone I must stay,
The hurt and the pain will not find you this way,
They come and they go, and I think nothing more,
Until I arrive at the foot of my door,
Into the house with a turn of a key,
To a house that is home, but home only to me,
But no one’s to blame, except for yours true,
For he should have erased the feelings that drew,
Over his brain and into his mind,
Drawing conclusions of “one of a kind”,
And yet he persists, allows the next line,
To bring them together in space and in time,
Pre-written the end in all of the cases,
Differences being just in names and in faces,
For time and again, the story repeats,
Each heart breaking more with each of its beats,
As everything must, this process will die,
But the tears will not fall, for there’s none left to cry.

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